Be Whole for Today: A Sip of Truth About Invisible Illness, Ableism, and Grace

It’s time for my second cup of Shero Coffee, and with it, I’m sharing something personal: ableism—and what it feels like to live with a disability you can’t see.

I’ve worked in Laboratory Medicine for 35 years, leading departments and earning six figures. But since May of last year, I’ve been out of the field. It’s the longest break I’ve taken, besides maternity leave. Why? Because my body no longer lets me do what it once could.

And because my illness is invisible, people question if it’s even real.

Insurance wants proof. Society wants explanations. But just because I look fine doesn’t mean I am. You see my smile and energy—but not the exhaustion behind them. I nap often. I dip in and out of social spaces to protect my peace. I disassociate to survive. This isn’t weakness—it’s how I stay whole. This is survival.

I co-created Be Whole with Nekohl and founded Where We Meet Inc. because I needed to build spaces where I and others could heal, connect, and exist without apology. These programs were born from pain—but also from purpose, and the desire to make wholeness possible for all of us.

And somehow, even in this hard season, I received three unexpected honors:

• Named one of the Top 25 Women Veterans in Illinois

• Appointed State Women’s Chairperson for the VFW Department of Illinois

• Selected as a 2025 Shero Coffee Brand Ambassador

  
  

Each came at a time when I felt broken. But others saw something in me that I couldn’t always see in myself.

So, what do I want to say to you?

Don’t give up. Don’t let the “isms”—ableism, sexism, racism, ageism—erase your voice or worth.

You might have to walk away from what you’ve always known—titles, income, identity, and people. You might have to grieve your old self. But you are still whole.

If you’re starting over, begin here: What are my core values? What does wellness look like for me—today?

You don’t need to conquer the week. Just be whole for today. Do what you can. Rest when you need to. And remember:

“Take no thought for tomorrow… Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”—Matthew 6:34

That verse used to confuse me. Now I understand: Life is a journey—one day at a time.

So today, I raise this cup of Shero Coffee to you—and to myself.

You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. You don’t have to be seen to be heard. And you don’t have to be whole tomorrow—just be whole for today.

Live Every day by God's Grace.

Be Whole with Nekohl

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